Safe in His Arms...

I am writing this blog today with mixed emotions. While I type, Kayden and Bree are playing "swimming pool" while it pours rain outside. I love to hear his happy voice, to see his "normal" little boy play, knowing how far God has brought him in the last year. There were so many prayers for Kayden to be healed, and God answered those prayers. Last week his port was removed, and we are a step closer to being done with this cancer. We are so grateful for that, and have so many days where we just have to stop and hold our little man a little extra because he has gone through so much and has come out the other side with only a few physical evidences. I am just in such awe of God's faithfulness.

However, as I write this, my faith is tested and I am reminded that even if God had not answered our prayers how we wanted Him to, He still would have answered them. He still would have been faithful. His goodness and faithfulness does not depend on if we are happy with how He handles what is going on in our life; His goodness and faithfulness are. Nothing will change that.

I just found out last week about a young girl who was diagnosed with stomach cancer the same time Kayden was diagnosed last year. They were probably in the hospital the same time we were, they had the same doctors we did. Her cancer was not responding to treatments, and on Monday she passed away. I struggle with why God answers some parents' pleas in a way that is favorable to them, and others in a way that they were not expecting. Yet, while my heart struggles with this, I also know and am clinging to the fact that God is faithful. Not just to the parents whose children are healed, but also to those whose children He takes home to be with Him. Though I may not fully understand, I can still lift this family up in prayer, asking the Lord to be their comfort, that they might rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Either way, God is with us, He is holding us, He loves us, and He knows and acts in a way that is best for us and because of this, we can trust him with our lives, with our children's lives.

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the widom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 'Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?' 'Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?' For from him, and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Rom 11:33-36