Greetings from Tohomish Street!

Well, sorry for a few days lapse in there, but being home has been so wonderfully busy! Thank you all who helped move all of our stuff and those who helped clean our old house (the trailer looks amazing! Our landlords were very grateful and so are we!). It has been so fun to be able to settle in, though, as always, is a slow process of getting things where they are supposed to go!
Saturday ended up being a little longer at the hospital than we were expecting. The surgeons were ready to send us out the door at about 10 in the morning, but we had to wait for the oncologist to give the go ahead. We did not expect any problems here since our oncologist had told us 2 weeks earlier that we could go when the surgeons told us we could. However, Kayden's hemoglobin levels had dropped to 6.7 (normal being between 11-14), so the oncologist on call really wanted him to have a blood transfusion before we went home. She argued with the surgeons for awhile, and once she got her way, ordered the blood. Well, then whoever it was that sends the blood (pharmacy?) found weird antibodies in Kayden's blood and wasn't sure if his body would accept the blood or not, so had to have a blood pathologist evaluate his blood. After several more hours they decided he would be fine and so at about 4:45 we started our 3 hour long blood transfusion. By about 8:30 we were finally ready to go; well, we were ready 2 weeks ago, but you know what I mean! Kayden had no idea what was happening and when asked if he was ready to go home said no! Once we got outside he began to calm down, and when he saw our car said, "Blue ruuuummm ruuummm?" We put him in his car seat and he had this tight lipped smile on his face. We thought for sure he would sleep on the way home (an hour and a half from the hospital), but instead he just smiled and kept pointing at different things saying "oh, Mommy!" Bree was so sweet singing to him and making up songs for him about how she was going to live with him forever and take care of him forever, and angels were going to watch out over him. When we pulled up to our house Kayden pointed and said, "Oh, Mommy! New house?" We went inside and he tried to walk (but needed my hand) around and look at all of his toys. The kids had so much fun and didn't crash until almost 11 o'clock at night! Leave it to my kids not to sleep in the next day either! After waking up at 7 we figured we might as well go to church, and it was so good to be back!
We are finally starting to get on a more normal schedule, and are having a great time! We never loved being a family so much as we do now!
Kayden had his second chemo appointment today. When we pulled into the parking garage, he started whimpering because he remembered the garage and was not ready to head back! Aaron's mom and grandparents (who are up visiting for the week) took Bree for a few hours, while Aaron and I took Kayden in. We had a few tears inside, but it helped that it was in the medical office, and not the inpatient (impatient?) area! Like last time, it was a "simple" injection and this is all we are really expecting our whole treatment. They told us that Wilm's is a "light chemo" plan, and we are so thankful for that! Kayden is doing okay after the appointment, had a little nausea, but we have medicine to help with that. He is eating fine (although only fruit at dinner), but we will wait and see how the next few days go.
I am planning on putting pictures up soon, so be watching for that. Otherwise, I will probably only be doing a few posts a week from here on out, in less we have something exciting (which we do NOT WANT!) happen.
Thank you all for you love, support, and prayers!

Homeward bound!

Just a quick note to let you all know that WE ARE GOING HOME!!!!! We are in the process right now, and just cannot wait!

Friday update

I only have good news for you tonight! Up to this point Kayden has been keeping down all the food he ate (although he hasn't had too much more from earlier). He will be going off of the TPN drip tomorrow. He has been playing and quite happy all day. The downside to having energy is he is still awake playing , but he is slowly slowing down! He has been passing gas tonight, and his tummy is soft (not bloated). Still not sure when they will release us, but plan on pushing for that when I talk with the surgeons tomorrow. I think if he were to poop, they would send us on our way, so once again I am going to ask you to pray for a bowel movement! One that would be all on his own because there is actually food in his tummy! Bring on the prunes!
Praise the Lord tonight for his faithfulness, and for his healing. Also for food and how muh it can help our bodies and our spirits!

Food Filled Friday

I'm sure you can guess from the title-they are letting Kayden eat real food today! He was so miserable this morning; didn't even want to get up to sit in my lap. One of the nurse practitioners who has been working with the surgical team came in this morning and gave me the good news. When she left, I asked Kayden if he wanted a snack (he has been asking for snacks for 2 weeks) and his face lite right up! He sat up, asked to get on my lap, and ate some very yummy fishies! Then he ate some apple sauce, a little bit of cheese omelet, half of a mini muffin, some more fishies, and some milk. I was trying to slow him down so he could keep it down, but he did not want to stop! After he decided he was done, I started to put the tray in the hall but he said, "NO, MOMMY!" I think he was afraid he wouldn't get any more food for 2 weeks and did not want to lose what he had gotten! Sweet little boy. Lunch did come, and he ate a chicken nugget and a few tator tots and had a little more milk (don't know why they only feed you constipating food at the hospital). So far he has held everything down which is awesome, now we just need to know that it will work is way down the bowels with no problem!
I realize this blog has focused quite often on gas and bowel movements, really most of my thoughts have revolved around those subjects the last 2 weeks, and I am really hoping that very soon you will not hear me talking about those anymore! Poor Kayden one day will be mortified to know how much I talked about this with other people!
Just wanted to give you an update on our day, I hope that if I get to blog later I will only have good news to share-no more throwing up!
Thanks again for all of your love and support! Hoping to see all of you living in White Salmon area very soon! I really love all of you in Portland and appreiciate the visits, but hope to have to make a drive to see you again! :)

A puzzling boy...

Kayden started out this journey so according to the books, and now is really throwing everyone for a loop! His bowels are still moving slowly; he had another x-ray this morning which one set of surgeons thought looked the same as yesterday, another thought it looked improved (maybe he is just tired of giving me bad news). He was given a suppository last night which made him poop a little, but go figure, not enough for the doctors! He was given a second suppository today which had the same sort of result, but this time our main surgeon thought his abdomen looked much less bloated than before.
Kayden has been playing much more like himself today, but still not wanting to get up and move around. He is also very untrusting of other people, really whoever they are. He does not like me to lift up his shirt anymore because the docs have been having me do that, so he doesn't trust his shirt being up for any reason. If we are walking down the hall, or if someone walks in the room, Kayden looks the other way and will not respond to them. For those of you who have come to visit and this has been the case, I'm really sorry, and if you didn't know Kayden before this experience let me assure you he used to be only playfully shy! I just want you to know that I really appreciate your visiting, and Kayden appreciates you not poking him!
Kayden had his first dose of chemo yesterday. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was really not what I was expecting! He sat in my lap while the nurse gave him the medicine. It took two minutes tops, and then was done. I had a dream that his hair started falling out last night, but when I woke up this morning, that was not the case!
My specific prayer requests tonight would just be that Kayden's bowels would wake up fully. There is talk of letting him have some real food tomorrow, so please pray that he will be able to keep it down, and even pass it through. I guess also that he would have the appetite for food since he really hasn't eaten in over 2 weeks. May the doctors be satisfied with what they see in Kayden, and may this weekend be our release date! We want to go home. We all are tired of this, and I'm tired of reaching goals the docs set and those goals not being enough once we do reach them. Please also just pray that Kayden would feel the peace of the Lord wrapped around him and that he would feel comfortable and at ease our last days here. May there be complete healing for my little man, and may his pain subside.
Grace and peace to you, our supporters, thank you for all that you have done and for lifting us up in prayer. thank you too for continuing to read this blog; it has been a long haul, and I'm sure just like I don't like having nothing new to report, you don't like to read that!

A new day

First let me say that I am doing better today, and really just wanted to be honest about how I was feeling last night. Usually just getting my thoughts out and a good nights rest is all I need to be refreshed. Sorry for any worry or concern I may have caused! I just need to be able to remind myself that even the hardest of days are days that the Lord has made, and I can still choose to rejoice and be glad in even those hard days.
Kayden has slowly been passing gas, but is still going in and out of extreme pain. The surgeons sent us down to do an x-ray this morning with the possibility of doing yet another ct scan. The x-ray showed that Kayden has gas all through his intestines, so he just has a slow bowel (there was a special word for it, I can't recall it off hand). This is good because the surgeons were thinking this morning we may be facing yet another surgery. Please just continue to pray that Kayden's bowels would wake up and push that gas (and more!) through. His belly is slightly extended, so there is talk of yet another ng tube (the nose tube), so please pray that the gas will get worked through and ng would not be needed! Still not sure when we will start chemo, our 2 sets of doctors are dueling it out!
Thank you for your love and support and your continued prayers.

Another night at the hospital...

Frustration, impatience, grumpiness, confusion, hurt. These are some of the words that describe the way I am feeling tonight. Why are we still here? Why is this taking so long? We came here for an appointment 2 weeks ago, and we are still here. I do not know how many more times I can watch (and hold him down) as my son is poked or brought to tears by one of the doctors or nurses here. I hate that he can't even feel safe in my arms anymore. I am so helpless here, I can't do anything to make this go away for him. I am away from my husband and daughter, I just want our family to be whole again.
Kayden did start passing some gas last night and has continued on some today, but now that is not enough for the doctors, they need more gas and bowel movements too. They are thinking about more ct scans, considering putting off the chemo that was supposed to start tomorrow (Wednesday the 20th), and I really don't know how much more of this I can take! I want to take my little man home. Anyway, today Kayden was feeling better, acting more like himself; playing more, laughing some and walking a little. I have to remind myself that he is doing so well considering this is his recovery from a second major surgery in 2 weeks.

Heavenly Father, I don't know why you brought us here, what your purpose is in all of this, but I do know, Lord, that your word is truth and that in your word it says that all the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful, and that your ways are higher than ours and your thoughts higher than mine, so I just ask that you will help me to let go of all of my plans both inside this hospital and out. Help me to let go of the selfishness inside of me that wants to go home and rest easy here knowing that they want to make sure Kayden is well and are doing what they can to make him that way. I know, Lord, that the doctors too have limited knowledge, so I just pray that you would guide them and show them what needs to be done and if there is anymore for them to do, that it would be done quickly. Be with Kayden, give him peace, comfort and a healthy bowel and body (fever is still hanging on a little, blood pressure is down). Be with Aaron, may he feel your love and peace tonight. Be with little Bree, thank you for her attitude, help her to stay strong and brave, and restore our family soon. Help us all to lean on you, to cling to you, our Rock. Your strength never fails, you never rest, you restore those who lean on you. Take my heavy burden from me, Lord, I am stumbling and weak.

Please pray!!!

So this is a quick and urgant prayer request that you pray for Kayden. He is fine, but he has GAS CRAMPS!!!! What a great thing for me, but not so much for him because he is in pain!!!! We all know how much bad gas cramps hurt, you can only imagine what it would be like when your tummy has been cut in half twice!
Pray for his comfort and his success at getting out some gas!

Monday moodiness

Today, Kayden is feeling well enough to be grumpy, and he is doing a great job of it! His catheter finally came out, we've had the initial painful urination, and now he is taking a nap. Our walk in the garden this morning was nice, he even played with a froggy watering can, pouring water all over the ground. We've had a few smiles, but for the most part he has no trust for the people in this place any more. Progress is slow, but we are making it; now we just hope for the hump we never reached after the first surgery: passing gas! We are all very tired of this whole process, this place, and the pain we see Kayden in.
This morning as I read Isaiah 40, I took great comfort in these words:
"See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding? ... "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. "
May the Lord who calls each star by name take my son into His arms and bring complete healing and strength. May Kayden's bowels wake up today, may the sips he has been allowed to have stay in his tummy and even pass their way through, and may our time here come quickly to an end. But most importantly, may we hope in the Lord so that we may have renewed strength.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support through this long process.

Sunday sunrise...

Just wanted to quickly update you all: Kayden seems to be better. Still has a slight fever, but has more color this morning too. Ng tube, cathiter and extra iv line are all coming out today. We are still waiting on Kayden's bowels to waken up, so as you go about your day today, please lift him up! May full recovery come soon and may we not see anymore complications! Poor little man is really getting irritated with this place!

Saturday Salutations...

Well, after a very long day of being in pain, then controlling the pain, being in pain, controling the pain vitals tonight are a mixed bag. Kayden has had a fevor all day, and tonight it was up to 104.6. So, after he was finally settled from having a few stickers peeled off of him, x-ray came in to do a chest x-ray. The bright light and hard board behind his back obviously did not make Kayden a happy camper. Once x-ray left, our nurse came in to draw some blood and get a urine sample from Kayd's cathitor. As you well can imagine on day 13 in the hospital, every time the door opens Kayden starts whinning wondering what else these people are going to do to him! He did fine, and is now trying to get back into a little more of a peaceful sleep, but really need the tests to come back negative, his fevor to go down, and for him to heal quickly so we can take this poor guy home!
The good side of the vitals was that for the first time since before surgery, his blood pressure is where they want it. If it stays that way at midnight, he won't need his blood pressure meds.
On a nerdy note (my husband will be so proud), tonight I realized just what the abductees on the x-files feel like with the bright lights in the middle of the night, and being poked and prodded and tested like crazy!
My computer battery is about to die, so I must be off so I can post this tonight. Please pray for the above things, really remembering that we are sheltered under the feathers of the wing of the Almighty above who is in control of all of this, though we may not understand it!
also, for those of you interested in more info for beans for bean or to order, please e-mail my sister Kristin at beansforbean@yahoo.com

Not sure how to title a day like today...

Well, I'm sure many of you heard the huge big news for today, but why I don't I start at the beginning to fill in the details:
This morning started out great. I could tell Kayden was going to have an active day, and was ready to try to get out some gas! At about 9 or 9:30 the nurse came in with a very concerned look on her face and said that the surgery team had ordered another ct scan stat. What that meant was another iv line started for Kayden and trying to do the scan without sedation because the sedation team was not available until the afternoon. For any of you who have been in a ct scan, or heard of it, you know that you cannot move or the picture will not turn out right. Kayden did great getting in the other iv line (I think all the possible places to get iv lines put in have now been used at least once), we pumped him all full of the stuff that I can't remember the name of right now, and got him all ready to go. A little benedryel and some morphine, and we headed down. Aaron and I were both allowed to be in the room with him, and he was just a trooper! He lay so still and had fun going in and out of the "choo-choo tunnel," and almost fell asleep at one point!
We weren't back in our room 20 minutes before a nurse came in to tell us that the scan showed that Kayden had intussiception which basically means that part of his intestine went inside another. Surgery would fix the problem. Their hope was that they could just pull it out and it would stay, but it was possible they may have to cut some of the intestine out. Our doctor had called down to the operating room and squeezed us in an hour after we were told about this!
It was a relatively fast surgery, I think about 2 hours including recovery time, and things went well. They were able to just pull it out and so far has stayed. Our prayer now is that it would stay put and not slide in again. Once again I'm wanting you to pray for my son to pass gas!
He now has a tpn (total perinatal (going into the vein) nutrition)line giving his poor little body some nutrients, so hopefully he will bounce back quickly from this surgery so we can get home! We are on day number 12 in the hospital and are ready to go settle into our new home and have the family together again!
Chemotherapy is supposed to start Wednesday; this has all been such a whirlwind! I still find it hard to believe that MY son has cancer and that we are dealing with all of this! May God's glory shine through this and may He be glorified whenever this story is told, and where ever we go! May we be a witness of Him in all of this (although it is hard to feel that light shine sometimes!).
For those of you interested, my oldest sister is selling organic vanilla beans and will be donating the proceeds for helping pay for expenses toward Kayden's chemo. Her coop is called "Beans for Bean" (Bean is a nickname my sisters used to-no, still call me), but I forgot to ask her how she wanted to be contacted. If you are interested try going to this site: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=77763604875&ref=mf , but if that does not work, let me know and I'll see how else she would like to be contacted. Kristin, if you know of a better way, let me know!
Specific prayer requests are that his intestines would stay the way they are supposed to be, that gas would soon come, that there would be full recovery soon and that we would get to come home soon! Also please continue to pray that Bree's time at the Wood's would go the way it has been, because she is a very happy camper right now! She has wanted to live with the Wood's since almost the first time we met them, and so now she's getting her chance! Praise God that she is doing so well, that we found the problem in Kayden and that things went so well today! To God be the glory forever and ever amen!

The rest of the day...

Well, since last I wrote you, so many things have changed. Kayden threw up a lot and now has another ng tube in his nose. They say it will be there a day or two, depending on how much is sucked out of his tummy. And apparently poop is not the most exciting sign to look for. WE NEED GAS!!! I guess the colon can push poop out without the bowels being fully awake, but gas is a sign that what is coming in is leaving quickly, and therefore a better indicator of awakened bowels. Sorry if that was too graphic, just knew there are some out there who would like to know.
Aaron needs to get home and back to work this weekend, and I really don't want Kayd and I to be left here without him, so PLEASE pray that we can be out of here by the end of the weekend! God is a mighty God who is in control of this, He is Healer God, and He can and He will get Kayden through this. I do believe that, and believe that He can do it by this weekend. For all of our sakes, I hope and pray that this will happen by this weekend. Little man has been through more than enough, and so has my little miss. We big folks struggle, but at least we can pretend to understand what is happening. Kayden has no clue why mommy won't even give him a drink of water! (Grandpa did get to buy him lolipops today (dr. approved) to sooth his throat, which totally changed Kayden's disposition for a while (he was his normal self) and even made him feel comfortable enough to move off of my lap and sit next to Grandpa :) )
So, we all know the biggy prayer request, that one that we never thought we'd pray for, and the blood pressure, but I would like my main focus of prayer requests tonight to be on praising our Almighty who shelters us under the feathers of his wings (Psalms 91), who is not suprised that I am typing this on a tiny computer (which works much better in the light) from a hospital "bed" tonight and who knows exactly what is wrong with Kayden right now, what he needs and when we will get to go home! Though we face pain and suffering today, I am glad I serve a God who sees, who knows, and who will walk with me (or carry me) through this time!

continuing on...

Sorry I had to cut off before, an x-ray tech came in needing to take an x-ray of Kayden's bowels, so I had to run! Anyway, we are very excited that Kayden got out a little poop, but he is still holding some in, so we need prayer that he lets it out! I can only imagine how much it hurts with the huge cut that he has, so please pray that it will loosen up and come out! You never thought you'd be so happy to have that sort of news, did you? Please also continue to pray for his blood pressure-its still too high! Thank you all for your prayers, it is amazing to have such support! Will try to update some more later!

Long night, poopie day

Last night Kayden did not sleep well, and it really did not matter what we gave him, he was up several times. This morning he threw up on me again and I thought we were in for another really long day. I forced my crying (almost screaming) child to walk a little ways before I just couldn't stand it anymore and carried him the rest of the way to the playroom. He was standing playing but all of a sudden got really grumpy. He stood on his tippy toes pushing on the play kitchen and table with his hands and was really upset. I asked him what was wrong, anyway, he pooped! I need to go, but will write later!

Another Wednesday

Dear all, this blog will be short tonight because I am using a new computer in the dark and the keyboard is tiny.
I feel like I say the same thing day after day, but I did want to say that I had a good cry yesterday, slept well last night, and have been much better today. Kayden threw up again last night, but he also passed some gas (and left some evidence for mommy so I could be sure) last night and this morning. He has been dehydrated, in fact didn't pee today from between 9 this morning and about 8 tonight but has had an increase of iv fluid, and seems to be doing better now. He also has had high blood pressure and is now on medication for that and doing a little better. Still cautiously moving forward with liquids, since there has been no gas since this morning, I don't want to make him throw up again. He did walk around and play lots today, so that is good.

Please pray for his hydration, blood pressure and bowels to continue to wake up!

I can hardly type on this keyboard, and need to get going since the nurse is here to do vitals, but will try to write more tomorrow.

Discouragment along the way

Forgive me for this entry, it is selfish, yet what is in my heart right now.
Yesterday Kayden did a great job walking around in the morning, but I think he over did it a bit. By the late morning he really didn't have the energy to get up and do anything. He did not sleep well yesterday, and was just a bit grumpy. He was able to eat a few ice chips, but was not interested in anything else. We got the go ahead this morning to try to do clear liquids, and we were so excited! I could almost taste going home and couldn't wait. He had some apple juice (just a couple of ounces) and gulped it right down. Later we tried chicken broth and gatoraid, but he just was not interested. Then he started getting really grumpy and saying his "bonk" hurt. We tried uping his pain killers, but that didn't help. He kept asking me to stand up with him, and once I did he threw up all over, covering me, his just washed blanket, and the floor. When I left the room to do laundry he was laying quietly, and I assume he feels much better. Mommy does not. I don't want to push him, but I feel like we just stepped back 3 days. Yesterday I was feeling like he was never going to pass gas and we would never get to leave, but now I feel mostly convinced! We are on day 9 at the hospital, and its terrible that I feel like that is forever because we are still kind of one of the "new" ones here! There are parents whose child has been in and out for 15 months, or have been here over 52 days! I guess not having a specific leave day just makes me feel like we're open ended. I feel terrible that I was pushing for him to get something to eat/drink, I just want to have my energetic little man back.
I am trying so hard to rest in Jesus during this storm, I am trying to remember that even this day is a day that the Lord has made. In what can I find to rejoice? That we know that Kayden is not ready to go home. That we have so much wonderful help and care here, that he is in better hands here than if he were home with me.
I am so thankful that Aaron and I decided to ask Bree where she wanted to go, or if she just wanted to stay with us. She actually picked somewhere closer to home (Miss Jilyn's house) than we were thinking, but she was so excited, and we do spend lots of time at the Wood's house, so it will seem as close to a normal routine as my sweet little girl can have at this point. Jilyn and her girls got to the hospital just before Kayden threw up: what a confirmation for us that we were doing the right thing! Thank you, Jilyn, for coming down to get Bree and for providing a fun and loving enviroment for her!
Please pray for patience for me, that Kayden would feel better and would not be pushed where he is not ready, that he will be able to eat soon (he is getting thin), that Bree will do awesome at the Wood's house, and that we will be going home sooner than later!

Sorry for any misspellings, I'm on a new computer and can't get spell check to work!

Moving Forward, in turtle steps...at least thats how it feels!

Today Kayden made huge strides. They really wanted to get him up and walking, and he did! He walked all the way to the play room and played for a while. He even stood up all by himself without holding on to anything! He was very sore soon after that, but a little morphine and we went to play in the play room again where he was walking all around the train table and then walked, holding onto the wagon, the whole way to the room faster than I could steer the wagon, IV pole and him! Once we got to the room he walked over to bed where we played for a couple of hours. He finally just fell asleep so I could come and blog! :) Can't wait to post pictures!
He did throw up again early this morning, but the surgeon on call and later the group of surgeons who came through had mercy and did not force the nose tube! Still no farts (sorry, not a word I usually use, but can get away with it since the surgeons used it! hahaha!), so I praying for that and some evidence! I'd hate if I were out of the room for 20 minutes and he did it then and I had no clue! Its getting harder, he found my snack stash today, and was really wanting some water in bed tonight! Poor baby, just pass some gas and then you can! My cousin's husband today said that he didn't think he had ever prayed for a little boy to pass gas, but please all do!!! :)

I guess that is my main prayer request: that things would start moving all the way through! We need to get that boy eating so coming home will come sooner! Pray that his pain will lessen so that the Tylenol will be enough for him. Pray for fast healing, a good night sleep and no more throwing up! Pray for meals to come tomorrow for him and home for us soon too! Also pray for Bree, who is having a little bit of a hard time. I really think it is important for her to be involved so she doesn't think we're shipping her away and so she can help with Kayden, but she is struggling.

I don't know if any of you in Portland are available in mornings to help clean our room at the Ronald McDonald house last minute, but when we find out we get to leave, we will have to entirely clean that room! Let me know if one day would work, and I could put you "on call!"

Thanks for your support and love. Can't wait until this is but a brief memory.

Moving forward, a little more pain...

Today was just a huge day. For the most part it was great: Kayden was alert, smiling and having fun. He slept for 4 hours in his wagon, went for a walk outside in the wagon, and had lots of fun visitors. We also got the pathology back (we did not expect it back on the weekend), and it is what we could have hoped for. We will wait a couple of weeks to start chemo just waiting for a genetic testing result to determine our full course of therapy. Kayden now only has one tube attached to him, and it is a possibility that we could go home Monday, depending on how Kayden does and what the surgeons say.
It was a hard day because the epidural was taken out (which in the long run is a good thing, but adjusting to the pain is not so much fun), the catheter was taken out (also a good thing, just hurts to pee at first. Kayden fought peeing for about an hour despite friends and family efforts to help him relax (oh yeah, we put his feet in warm water), so I finally tried the cold air technique and changed his diaper. He peed all over me! :) ), and Kayden threw up about 3 times last night and this morning. Been a rough day for the little man, but he is morphined up right now and sleeping.

Specific prayer requests are that bowel movements would start so he can begin eating, that he would not throw up any more (the tube in his nose would be put back if he does), that his pain would decrease, and that he would be more than ready Monday to head home. I don't want to push it, but I also think our family is more than ready to start our "normal" life again (not sure how that will look in a new home with so much change, but we're ready to try!). Please just pray too for peace and strength in the transition, and for us to not lose our sight of Christ.

Last night was pretty hard for me, just remembering that ALL the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful and wondering how that fits in here, but trusting that it does. I have seen the Lord moving through all of you, and in so many ways, but really had a hard time seeing Kayd suffer. Praying tonight will go better and trusting and knowing that God is in fact moving and working in ALL of this! "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be GLAD IN IT!" This is a verse I am clinging to. No matter how hard it is, God made this day and so I will rejoice and be glad in it! Hoping and praying that as you go about your day to day life, you to can claim this promise! (this verse is in Psalm 118 somewhere, sorry, the verse number is not coming to mind right now!)

Thank you again for your prayers and support. We love you all so very much!

Another day done...

Things seem to be going well, except that we are still in the hospital. We are all ready to be done with this part of treatment, but pathology is not back yet, and Kayden is not physically ready yet either. He did much better today, his swelling has gone down a lot, he can even open his eyes almost all the way. He really seems to have a time at night where he perks up a lot, and it is very fun. He blew more bubbles again tonight, and even took a wagon ride to the play room with Bree and friend Grace. He sat and watched and did not last more than 5 minutes, but did enjoy getting out a bit. This was his second wagon ride after surgery; this morning Aaron and I went on a walk with him around for a while, and he got to see the fish eat! He seems very uncomfortable, and does not want kisses or people touching him (he gets very grumpy when they do), but we are praying that he can start weening off of the epidural soon.

There are too many people to thank for all that we have had done for us! We are so blessed to know you, to be your friends, or to be friends of your friends. Thank you all so much for EVERYTHING!

Specific prayer requests:
Kayden would get more comfortable and be able to take less epidural tomorrow. That the swelling would continue to decrease and that his oxygen will be all his own tomorrow! Also, for those of you reading this tonight, that he would sleep better tonight. He tried for about 2 1/2 hours last night to turn over and eventually managed to do so with his buns sticking up over his head, but it took crying every 15 minutes of those two hours.
Bree is ready to be home, pray that she will feel peace and a part of it all. Praise God that Kayden responded well to her tonight, he smiled and even tried to laugh at her silliness. Also pray that we would make the right decision on what to do with her (send her to someones house, or keep her close by).
And pray that God would make all of us to lie down in green pastures, and lead us beside quiet waters during this time in the valley.

Thank you all!

A super fast update...

Kayden is still sleeping and I don't want him to wake up without me there, but had a huge change happen last night! I went back to my room where my mom was waiting for me, and Kayden started to wake up. The nurse had asked me to try some bubble therapy again before bed, so I asked Kayden if he wanted bubbles. We played over an hour with them, his oxygen was 100 % without the tubes, and he was laughing, smiling, and having fun. Okay, so he laughed twice (I'm sure it did not feel good), but smiled often, and took his fishy to fight off the Arrahhbite (dinosaur in Kayden terms) who kept trying to pop the bubbles! He sounded and played like my baby, but his eyes are so puffy. His playing was so encouraging. Mom and I both lost track of the time, and when I looked at the clock, it was 10:30! Kayden fell asleep soon after mom left, but we had a rough night of sleep. He usually sleeps on his back, so it took awhile with the epidural in to turn to his back, but he eventually made it!
Another positive note is that they are talking about taking out his nose tube today (it pulled a little out 2 times last night-ouch!).

Continue to pray for his swelling to go down, and for the little guy to fart(Mom, the surgeons said it, so so can I!)!!! Once he does he gets to eat! I hope he is able to play more today too!

The night after the night...

First let me apologize to those of you who were awaiting phone calls today and did not receive any, its been a harder day than I was prepared for. It is so hard to see my sweet baby who was playing just fine yesterday morning to be feeling so icky today. I know that surgery was the best thing, and that we are on the way to getting better, but somehow it all caught up with me today. My son has CANCER and its going to be a long road. He has been so miserable today, had a slight fever, and cannot understand why he feels the way he does. Poor little man. He is almost all the way off of oxygen, and only has his IV, epidural, and the naso gastric (pulls junk out of tummy since intestines are still sleeping) in. He has had a little harder time coming off of the oxygen, so they are trying different therapies with him on that. He was blowing bubbles earlier, and doing great, but about 3 minutes of that and he was exhausted! Bree was also frustrated because she wanted to be able to do the bubbles, and pop them, etc. Hopefully a little more sleep tonight will help her and her attitude tomorrow. (She gets to go to the zoo with cousins, so that should help a lot).
Tomorrow, I'm hoping, will be a better day for visitors, call to make sure we're around, and feel free to visit (but not obligated!)

Thank you all so much for prayers, support, food for those who brought it, and moving our stuff from one house to the other for those who have! What a blessing to be able to not have to do that once we bring little man home.

Specific prayers tonight are:
that the swelling would go down in Kayden's face and arms (the nurses do not seem too worried, but he is propped up to try to get that to go down).
That Kayden would in fact be a bit better tomorrow like the nurses and doctors expect.
That we would all just feel God's arms of peace surrounding us tonight, and that we would all sleep well, and tomorrow would draw a little more from the strength and peace of God.

A little encouragement my mom shared with me that I would like to pass along (if I've never told you this, or you don't know my mom, she is an amazing godly woman, and I hope to be like her one day!):
Deut. 31:6,8
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them [the enemy], for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you....The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." It is easy to be afraid when we see our enemy, but cannot see God fighting for us and going before us. That is why we are being encouraged here to be courageous because God is before us and fighting for us now.

Night after surgery...

After surgery, Kayden was brought to ICU so that they could monitor him a little closer for the night. I didn't have access to a computer there, so I wrote out my thoughts throughout the night so I could share them with you when I got a chance:
(9:30 pm) Surgery seemed to go so quickly, recovery so slowly, but from there it has been a whirlwind! We seem to be really good at getting a new room close to shift change time so we can add to the chaos of what is happening! We are now settled (at least on my end of things) and trying to get used to life in the ICU (constant nurse in the room and many beeping monitors!). Kayden is still pretty heavily sedated, in fact, I've only seen his eyes once and they were only open for a minute! He tried really hard to keep his eyes open, but just could not! I asked him a few questions and he did respond by shaking his head yes (or "yeah" in Kayden's words). Very little something, but brought me so much joy since it was the only interaction I have had with him since the surgeons took him back into surgery. His incision is so big on his little belly, but looks very good. he is covered with wires, but I know that they are just keeping a good eye on him.
Bree seems to be having a hard time and I wish I would have spent more time with her. She really cannot grasp what is going on with Kayden, but understands something is wrong. When they brought him out of recovery, she was so excited to see him. She was talking to him, and just wanted to be right next to his crib on the walk up to the ICU. When they brought him back to the ICU and asked us to stay behind, she almost cried. My heart is longing for my little girl tonight.

(10:15 pm) Kayden has been awake on and off the last 20 minutes and really been responding to me. He even, with a scratchy voice, asked for his train that he brought down to surgery with him. He so far has been very sweet.

(3:45 am) Kayden is able to open his eyes a little more, but has been more grumpy than before (but I must say he has every right to be grumpy right now!)

(6:30 am) seems pretty sure we will be leaving ICU at some point today, they will also be taking out several of the lines he has, although the nose tube (naso gastric for those of you with medical terms) will stay in a few more days.

(10:00 am) we are packed up and waiting for paperwork to finish up so we can go back to the regular room. All the doctors are very happy with the way Kayden looks, he is doing great!

Surgery is done!

We just finished talking with the surgeons and all the news is good!!! The tumor came out with no spilling, other organs are just fine, a few lymph nodes were taken just to be sure. They are very happy with the way things went. Kayden did great, they even said that he held the anesthesia mask and put himself to sleep. Praise God for the surgeons and the surgery. We are now on our way to recovery! He will be staying the night in ICU, just to be watched more closly. We couldn't be happier!

In the midst of surgery

I know you all are wanting to know what is happening, at this point in surgery all is going well. Kayden is so sweet! When we came down into the prep area, they had an awesome dinosaur that he loved, so while we talked about last minute things, he played with a smile on his face. They let him take it in with him into surgery along with "blue" (his blanket), his hat and his thomas train. When it was time to go, one of the surgeons picked him up and carried him back, and he was just fine! We have full confidence in our doctors and are now just waiting! Praise God for such an awesome team of doctors! Will let you know when we know more or are done! Thank you for your prayers and support! Much love!

Peace in the valley...

Let me first start out by thanking you all for your prayers and support. Kayden is doing well and currently having tons of fun playing with Mr. Don and Ms. Jocey. He started getting pretty grumpy about an hour before going down for his ct scan, but fell asleep in my arms and pretty much slept until I put him on the table to be put "to sleep." The tests went well, and Kayden woke up normally (which means very grumpy and dopey). He was so very hungry when they finally let him eat that when he was handed a package of crackers, he put the crackers in his mouth, wrapper and all! I had to pull it out and open it for him. :)
The ct scan was what we could have hoped for! The right kidney looks clean (although they will check it in surgery), the lungs look clean, and it seems that only the left kidney is currently infected. Our oncologist showed us the ct pictures, and it is CRAZY how large the tumor is! We could see the whole rt kidney which showed up white on the picture, and hardly any white showed at all on the left because it has been taken over by the tumor! Surgery is scheduled tomorrow at about 1:30, which means another morning of no food for little man. The surgery should last about 4-5 hours, so I will try to update again tomorrow night.
Depending on how the surgery goes, it looks like Kayden will have stage 2 cancer, but could possibly be stage 3. The two factors that could bump him up are 1 if the lymph nodes and/or other organs around have been effected, or 2 if the tumor bursts or is "spilled" in the removal of the kidney.
He will have a several day recovery in the hospital, depending on how it goes tomorrow. After that we are looking at chemotherapy treatments for at least 18 weeks, depending on the stage of the cancer.

Those of you who live close by us, we are still planning our move this weekend thanks to the help and love of our church family, so sat. at 9 is the plan at our current home. Any help, trucks, trailers that can come will be very appreciated! Thank you all!
Those of you in the Portland area who would like to visit, please let us know!
And those wanting specific prayer requests, they are as follows: Please pray first for lots of rest for the surgeons tonight so they can be very alert and aware in the morning. Also pray for their hands to be steady so that no other organs are injured (which would mean the removal of those injured organs), that the tumor would not be spilled or burst, that there would be no severe bleeding, and that everything would go just how the surgeons are anticipating it to go. Our main surgeon told us he is very optimistic, so that is nice.

The Lord is good because through this whole process I have felt his peace and strength. Praise be God who has known of this before this happened and has been preparing the little details for us, who is with us now and who also knows the outcome! That is the God worth serving! Thank you again for your thoughts, prayers and support!

The story...

I have told the beginning of our story more times than I can count (especially in the last 24 hours), but in case you do not know, will write it now.
My son Kayden, age 2 1/2 years old, had some blood in his diaper last weekend (April 25,26?) so on Monday I brought him to the doctor to see what was going on. Some of you know my great disappointment in this doctor, and although my disappointment grows the more time goes by, I won't go into that tangent today. During this appointment, they did take a urine sample, which revealed that I am not a paranoid mother, but that there was still blood in Kayden's urine. An ultrasound was scheduled for Friday morning. The ultrasound went well, Kayden did great, except for a few tears at first, but part way through the radiologist was called in. He told me a lump had been found on Kayden's left kidney. After we got home our nurse practitioner called me to let me know that the radiologist had diagnosed this as a Wilm's tumor. It is a kind of cancer that only occurs in children, and there are only a few hundred diagnosed each year in the US. An appointment was scheduled with a doctor in Portland at Emmanuel Hospital. When we arrived yesterday, we met the doctor, talked with him briefly, he looked at Kayden's ultrasound pictures, felt his tummy, told us we were going to be admitted that day, but wanted to have another doctor look at him first. We actually met 4 doctors total yesterday, and were given way too much information, but what I do want to pass on is that right now we are looking at a ct scan today (11 am), and surgery later this week and then chemotherapy for several months. Kayden is doing well considering all the poking and prodding he has endured. Bree is with her grandparents in Vancouver, we are still planning on go forward with our move this weekend, I'm not sure how Aaron is doing, yesterday was crazy and in the midst of it all had to run home (an hour or so away) for clothes, etc and stayed last night with his parents. I had one of those nights where you wake up so many times, feel like the night should almost be over, but somehow it isn't. Kayden is on a fast now for the ct scan, but had some peanut butter toast and milk at about 4 this morning (I thought I'd eat his crust, but he didn't even let a crumb fall!). I am hoping for this blog to be more of my thoughts and feelings (being a woman, I need to process!) but wanted to get the story down. We appreciate your prayers and will try to get pic's up later, but need to wait until we are home!