Well, I had planned on making this a weekly event after coming home, but if you're reading this now, you know that just hasn't happened yet! I will try to be better about the weekly updates, hopefully things around the house will start to slow down a bit.
We are mostly finished unpacking, just little odds and ends...a few books here, something to put together there, you know how it goes.
Kayden is doing well. Although he has little appetite the first few days after chemo (to be expected), he tends to make up for it later in the week. When we arrived in the hospital, he weighed just over 29 pounds. His kidney and tumor weighed a pound and all those days of not eating caused him to lose a few more. I think he was down to 26 something at one point (they weigh in kilograms and I don't know the conversion), but he is now back up to 28 pounds! Praise the Lord for a good appetite; may that continue! Our doctor said Kayden was ahead of the curve with his eating, so we will just pray that that continues!
Besides little appetite the first few days, Kayden has shown few signs of being on chemotherapy. He still has all his hair, and he plays just as hard, if not harder, than Bree. He has had some nausea the day after his appointments, and this week he ended up throwing up. For the most part though, the anti-nausea medicine that he has helps. After throwing up the other night (he woke up in the middle of the night), he asks for the "trow-up bin" next to his bed so he can get his "big, big trow ups in dere." Sweet little boy. Not something I would have wished for my 2 1/2 year old to learn to say!
I still find myself in shock when I tell myself that my son has cancer. I've always heard stories of people whose children were going through cancer, but just can't believe that I am now living one of those stories. I guess because of Kayden's light chemo drugs, we really haven't been effected tremendously during the week, it is easy to pretend that it is not something I need to deal with. I can almost pretend it away even, except right now I have a weekly reminder! Well, that and the fact that he still won't let me touch his "bonks."
One of the things that has really gotten me through this time is remembering that God does not change. No matter what happens in life, He is still the same loving and faithful God that he has always been. I was reminded recently while reading a great book by a former professor (David Needham, Close to His Majesty) about the book of Lamentations. In this book, Israel is going through so much persecution and pain. The people were starving, so much so that mothers were eating their own babies. For 3 chapters Jeremiah describes this devastation, talking of his own persecution even by his own people, when all of the sudden part way through the third chapter he remembers the truth about God. He goes from one verse of so much pain to the next saying,
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord....For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men" (Lam 3:21-26, 31-32).
If you ever get a chance to read through the whole book of Lamentations and just see the grief and pain that these words come between, they take on a whole new and deeper meaning than reading them kind of out of context! My pain and suffering is but a fraction of what Lamentations describes, but I think that the higher the pain, the higher appreciation for God's faithfulness and love when one's hope is in the Lord. May we look to Him no matter the circumstance, no matter how hard life may or may not be!
I really appreciate all the prayers that have been lifted up for us. I would just ask that you pray for Kayden's post-traumatic stress that he has about the doctor's office (really very little pain during appointments) and even with any "bonks" of any kind. I tried putting a band aid on his knee today (he skinned it) and you would have thought that the world was falling in upon him the way he reacted! Most kids love band aids, right? Bree is always looking for a reason to get a band aid-not Kayden! Anything that remotely reminds him of the hospital is traumatizing for him. He cries if Bree wears a hospital mask. So, please pray for peace for him in these areas. May the doctor's office be a place of cool toys and stickers, and may I be able to tickle him again without having to worry about sending him into tears if I touch his belly!
Also, please just pray for our wisdom in knowing how to help him feel better. He is not quite old enough to be able to communicate what is really going on, anything wrong is a "bonk" and that does not help me know if he is nauseous!
Pray too for continual growth, weight gain (for him!), and his appetite!
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers! For your help, meals, contributions, gifts and love! I'm trying to get my thank you notes done, but really, I don't know if there are enough thank you cards in the world for what we need! We appreciate it all! Thank you!
We are mostly finished unpacking, just little odds and ends...a few books here, something to put together there, you know how it goes.
Kayden is doing well. Although he has little appetite the first few days after chemo (to be expected), he tends to make up for it later in the week. When we arrived in the hospital, he weighed just over 29 pounds. His kidney and tumor weighed a pound and all those days of not eating caused him to lose a few more. I think he was down to 26 something at one point (they weigh in kilograms and I don't know the conversion), but he is now back up to 28 pounds! Praise the Lord for a good appetite; may that continue! Our doctor said Kayden was ahead of the curve with his eating, so we will just pray that that continues!
Besides little appetite the first few days, Kayden has shown few signs of being on chemotherapy. He still has all his hair, and he plays just as hard, if not harder, than Bree. He has had some nausea the day after his appointments, and this week he ended up throwing up. For the most part though, the anti-nausea medicine that he has helps. After throwing up the other night (he woke up in the middle of the night), he asks for the "trow-up bin" next to his bed so he can get his "big, big trow ups in dere." Sweet little boy. Not something I would have wished for my 2 1/2 year old to learn to say!
I still find myself in shock when I tell myself that my son has cancer. I've always heard stories of people whose children were going through cancer, but just can't believe that I am now living one of those stories. I guess because of Kayden's light chemo drugs, we really haven't been effected tremendously during the week, it is easy to pretend that it is not something I need to deal with. I can almost pretend it away even, except right now I have a weekly reminder! Well, that and the fact that he still won't let me touch his "bonks."
One of the things that has really gotten me through this time is remembering that God does not change. No matter what happens in life, He is still the same loving and faithful God that he has always been. I was reminded recently while reading a great book by a former professor (David Needham, Close to His Majesty) about the book of Lamentations. In this book, Israel is going through so much persecution and pain. The people were starving, so much so that mothers were eating their own babies. For 3 chapters Jeremiah describes this devastation, talking of his own persecution even by his own people, when all of the sudden part way through the third chapter he remembers the truth about God. He goes from one verse of so much pain to the next saying,
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord....For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men" (Lam 3:21-26, 31-32).
If you ever get a chance to read through the whole book of Lamentations and just see the grief and pain that these words come between, they take on a whole new and deeper meaning than reading them kind of out of context! My pain and suffering is but a fraction of what Lamentations describes, but I think that the higher the pain, the higher appreciation for God's faithfulness and love when one's hope is in the Lord. May we look to Him no matter the circumstance, no matter how hard life may or may not be!
I really appreciate all the prayers that have been lifted up for us. I would just ask that you pray for Kayden's post-traumatic stress that he has about the doctor's office (really very little pain during appointments) and even with any "bonks" of any kind. I tried putting a band aid on his knee today (he skinned it) and you would have thought that the world was falling in upon him the way he reacted! Most kids love band aids, right? Bree is always looking for a reason to get a band aid-not Kayden! Anything that remotely reminds him of the hospital is traumatizing for him. He cries if Bree wears a hospital mask. So, please pray for peace for him in these areas. May the doctor's office be a place of cool toys and stickers, and may I be able to tickle him again without having to worry about sending him into tears if I touch his belly!
Also, please just pray for our wisdom in knowing how to help him feel better. He is not quite old enough to be able to communicate what is really going on, anything wrong is a "bonk" and that does not help me know if he is nauseous!
Pray too for continual growth, weight gain (for him!), and his appetite!
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers! For your help, meals, contributions, gifts and love! I'm trying to get my thank you notes done, but really, I don't know if there are enough thank you cards in the world for what we need! We appreciate it all! Thank you!
korene, i do believe that God does everything for a reason i think that you may be the whole reason that he felt the need to give your family this experience. your strength and devotion has gotten visibly stronger through this trauma and you are a true testament and inspiration to the rest of us. seeing other people go through such pain makes us all so much more thankful for the things we have and seeing you - who has to suffer through the pain of seeing your own flesh and blood going through things that his precious brain can't even wrap around - be uplifted and emboldened by this ordeal makes us all exam our own attitudes and devotion. so i praise God for you and your family every night because you are all amazing, and you especially, are a testament to the love of God and what it means to be a faithful Christian woman living in the face of adversary. i love you.
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